Why did you decide to send out
Save the Dates?

I decided to send out save the dates because a lot of my family is in Colorado (the wedding is in CA). I do have a wedding website, which I think is a great way to spread the word, but I was concerned that less tech-savvy guests might miss out. Also, I think they are very classy and get people excited about the wedding well in advance.

When will be you sending out your
Save the Dates? What made you choose that date?

I am going to send out my Save the Dates in December, about 7 months before the wedding. I chose that date because I wanted out of town guests to take advantage of cheaper airfare, and because there are so many weddings during the summer, I wanted to get mine on everyone’s calendar as soon as possible!

Will your Save the Dates have to match your invitations? Why?

My Save the Dates will match my invitation, because I think the event comes off as more successful and organized if it has a central theme. I think whether they do it consciously or subconsciously, guests will recognize and appreciate that everything is coordinated in terms of color and style.

What info did you choose to put on your Save the Dates and why?

I put our names, the date, the location, and our wedding website on our Save the Date. I’ve read that it’s improper etiquette to put your registries on your invitation or save the date, but you CAN list your wedding website, which will link guests to your registry. Maybe it is sneaky, but it’s one way to direct guests to those oh-so-important registry gifts!










Will you be
including a
monogram?
If so will you use your monogram on other stationary?
I will be including a monogram, and I’d love to put it on stationary! Great idea.

Will you put “and guest” on the envelope of your save the dates?

Yes; I would like to let guests know as soon as possible that they will be allowed to bring a date, so there isn’t confusion.

What are some tips to "wedding" out your guest list?

My fiancé and I both created out lists, and then we paired it down together. There was definitely some negotiating that went on. I don’t think it’s ever easy, but there are just some people that you have to cut.

It is important to remember that it’s your wedding – choose who you want to spend time with on one of the most special days of your life. Don’t make your wedding into a time to “catch up” with people. You should be able to enjoy the day with people you know and care about.

Was there anything particularly stressful about this process?

I love planning, and since this is my big event, obviously I have a lot personally invested in the process! I don’t think it should be stressful. Wedding planning should always be fun. I just try to stay organized. Planning tips on wedding websites such as theknot.com are great resources. Also, keeping a budget and sticking to it helps you stay on track.

Do you have any tips to share concerning save the dates/wedding stationary?

I would say use wedding websites to look up proper wording for invitations; that really helped. Also, I am getting two sample options made so my family can help choose which one should go out to guests. It is a small gesture, but helps everyone feel involved. Buying samples is a must!

It’s easy to see why the Pocket-Fold style of invitation is a top choice among today’s brides.

With all the “extras” that go along with pulling off an organized celebration, all the necessary add ons can now be stored in a useful yet creative manner, without sacrificing style.

There are quite a few possible combinations you can choose as appropriate inserts of your pocket invitations, depending on your needs.



Response Card (RSVP)

Along with the actual invitation you should include a response card (RSVP) along with a stamped response card envelope.

This is how your guests will let you know whether or not they’re coming and if they are coming exactly who is coming with them.

There is often confusion when it comes to filling out the response card. The guest should start by writing all the names of the guests that will be attending on the line that starts with “M.” For example that line would read “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith or Ms. Jane Smith for a single person, if children are included it would read Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, Suzy Smith, James Smith.”

Reception Card

If your reception is being held at a location separate from your ceremony you should include a reception card. The reception card should include the name and location of the reception venue and often will include driving directions from the ceremony location to the reception location.

Accommodations Insert

Some couples include an accommodations insert with their invitation. The accommodations insert will usually include hotel accommodations recommended by the bride and groom and often include information on a special rate they have secured for their guests.

Map/Directions

A map or directions insert is also common. Often the bride and groom will provide directions to the ceremony and reception location and any special parking arrangements they may have made.

Additional Event

Many couples now choose to have a “wedding weekend.”
Often times guests are coming from far away and the couple plans additional events so that they can spend time with their guests and so that guests can get to know other guests.

Picnics, barbecues, cocktail parties, and golf tournaments are just an example of additional events the couple may have planned.

Sometimes they will include this information in with the wedding invitation but I usually recommend against that.

There is a fine line between the right amount of information and too much information all at once. If you aren’t already including several additional inserts with your invitation than a small insert with additional events information would probably be o.k. But if you’ve already got several other inserts included with your invitation I recommend sending the details of additional events separately.

You may even want to wait until guests have responded that they will be attending and then send them the additional events information. Too much information at one time can be confusing for guests.

Recipe Card

This is a fun, untraditional, addition to the pocket fold inserts. You can have recipe cards made up to match in which family and friends, young and old, can share their favorite recipes and kitchen tips. This is a very thoughtful addition that will help you stay connected with your guests.



With the pocket fold style of invitation comes the abilty to encapsulate the theme, style or feel of your wedding celebration. Such as in this "Destination" style invitation. There will be no quetions about where this wedding will be held or even what they can expect as far as attire and decor.

The band that holds the pocket together, called the belly band, is where all the pop and creativity will begin before your guests open up to the style you have chosen.

As alway...If you have any questions or ideas I love to hear your feedback!

Sarah

Company policy states, if I wish to have coworkers at my wedding I have to invite the entire staff which is about a dozen more coworkers than I planned on inviting. To save on invitations, is it rude to send just one invitation to the store? And, since, again by company policy they all have to be seated together, is it rude to request that they don't bring guests?This is done in the formality of the invitation, including the language. It is also indicated by the venue/location and time of day. So, if you stated that your wedding is in a park in the afternoon, your guests would most likely know that it will be casual. Of course you could also verbally inform themThat would be a blessing of the marriage. However, this is not a wedding and should not appear to be one. Invitations are sent to those close to the couple and can be handwritten informally or printed out on a postcard style card.Traditionally the bride and groom's family can split the guest list 50/50. You have the option of fine tuning the list if it gets out of hand. Remember your budget, venue and church accommodations and the intimacy you desire when providing the number of guests.You can't combine an announcement and invitation since an announcement is sent after the wedding to announce that you have been married and an invitation is sent before the wedding to invite your guest to attend. So, send invitations to anyone you want to invite and let them decide if they want to attend a destination wedding. Then send announcements to any one not invited to the wedding that may need to be informed that you've been married.You certainly can but are not required to invite the church coordinator.Pocket invitations are a popular pick which includes a insert for printed directions and/or Pre-printed maps are fine to enclose.

In preparing for your big day I'm sure you are finding there is a lot to "study" up for. I have compiled a list of comonly asked questions on etiquette specifically related to wedding invitations. Please keep in mind these are just guidlines to give you a foundation to start with in what can seem to be an overwhelming task.
Always remember to let your personal style and personality shine through on every aspect of your wedding to show off to loved ones and the world how you plan to emerge, full of pride,
Mrs.------- on your wedding day!

Congratulations, enjoy.

Q.
What is the etiquette regarding hand-delivered wedding invitations? I want to bring them to my coworkers and a few friends who live near my office. Is this appropriate?
A.
Delivering some of your wedding invitations by hand is a fine and acceptable option. However, rather than slipping them into your coworkers' mails slots or onto their desks, make sure it is an actual hand-delivery -- from your hands to theirs. This way, you will get to say a few words to each guest while you present the invitation and, most important, the invitation will not be overlooked.





Q.
My fiance and I do not want to have any children at our wedding. Should we indicate this on the invitations?

A.
This is always a touchy subject. Never print "no children" or "adults only" on an invitation. The way an invitation is addressed, whether on the outer or inner envelope, indicates exactly who -- and by omission, who is not -- invited to the wedding. Make sure your wedding party and family members know that there will be no children at the wedding so they can spread the word if necessary. If people ask to bring their children even after receiving their invitation, it's best to be as direct as possible, saying that your wedding plans really do not include children.





Q.
What is the correct wording to tell people where we're registered? How do we let the guest know we'd prefer cash gifts?

A.
It is never proper to include information about gifts in the wording of the invitation. Traditionally it was also considered improper to include any sort of announcement of your gift registries as inserts with your invitations. But times have changed, and many couples choose to include these enclosure cards, which guests find convenient. Often the company at which the couple is registered will provide these cards, making it appear that the store itself, rather than the couple, is informing guests about the registry. If you do not wish to include enclosure cards, the more traditional route is to let your family and wedding party know the details. They are the best resource for the guests. Some couples would prefer that their guests bring no gifts to the wedding. It is not appropriate to print "No Gifts Please" on the invitation, instead you should rely on word of mouth generated by your attendants and wedding party. If you would prefer guests to donate to a certain charity, the wedding party can pass along that information, too. Guests want to show their happiness by bringing a present, so no matter what you do you're bound to receive several. Never print a request for cash gifts on your invitations. Asking your wedding party to spread the word of your desire for cash is also impolite, both to the wedding party and the guests. If the "No Gifts" request is spread, guests wishing to offer some sort of token will often bring or send cash. The giving of cash is common in many cultures, so it may be appropriate for you to have a money box or designated place where cash gifts can be left. The bottom line is, it is never appropriate to mention wedding gifts in the wording of the wedding invitation.





Q.
Can I use printed labels on my wedding invitations?

A.
Affixing labels to your wedding invitation envelops makes them appear far less personal than they should be. Even if you are inviting many guests to the wedding, hand-address the invitation or, budget permitting, hire a calligrapher to handle the project. If you are worried about not being able to complete a large number of invitations, plan to order them as early as you can so you'll have enough time to finish them. Printing is always an option since there are many fonts to choose from and is much cheaper than a calligrapher.





Q.
What are the correct titles to use for guests when addressing my envelopes?

A.
Most of the titles we use in addressing envelopes will be familiar, but here is a breakdown:

A married couple: Mr. and Mrs. Carl Fallow
A married couple in which the woman has kept her name Ms. Janice Collins and Mr. Kevin Black
A widow Mrs. Carl Fallow
A divorced woman Ms. Sally Fallow (or her maiden name if she's reclaimed it).
Married doctors The Doctors Stevenson, Dr. Carmen Stevenson and Dr. Andrew Stevenson, Drs. Carmen and Andrew Stevenson.
The Doctors Stevenson, Dr. Carmen Stevenson and Dr. Andrew Stevenson, Drs. Carmen and Andrew Stevenson. A couple living together or a gay couple (written on two lines) Robin GossettMatthew Doring
Husband is a doctor Dr. and Mrs. Andrew Stevenson, Dr. Andrew Stevenson and Ms. Carmen Gomez.
Wife is a doctor Dr. Carmen Stevenson and Mr. Andrew Stevenson
Teenage girl Miss Gloria Johnson
Teenage boy (under 18) Christopher Jones
Judge, Governor, Mayor,United States Senator,Member of Congress,Cabinet Members,AmbassadorsThe Honorable
Husband is a colonel Colonel and Mrs. Michael Jones
Husband is a major Major and Mrs. Lawrence Tanaka
Husband is a lieutenant Lieutenant and Mrs. John Warren
Wife is a captain Captain Alicia Huang and Mr. Albert Huang
A Catholic Bishop The Right Reverend Mark Wells Bishop of [insert city name]
A Catholic Brother Brother Coleman Harris
A Catholic Sister Sister Anita Canesto
A Catholic Priest The Reverend Father James Keough
Husband is a Rabbi Rabbi and Mrs. Adam Lohman
Wife is a Rabbi Rabbi Ellen Freed and Mr. Robert Freed
Husband is a Protestant Clergyman The Reverend and Mrs. John Smith
Wife is a Protestant clergywoman The Reverend Susan Carlson and Mr. Thomas Carlson





Q.
Is it acceptable to use a nickname when addressing an invitation to a friend?

A.
In formal communications such as a wedding invitation never use a nickname in the address. If you don't know a person's real name, ask them or a mutual friend for clarification. If either member of the couple getting married is typically known by a nickname, it is not appropriate to refer to the individual by that nickname on the invitation. When a name appears on an invitation it should be the full, legal name.

Q.
How should I write times and dates on my invitations?

A.
For traditional invitations, all numbers in the date and time should always be spelled out, for example, "the thirty-first of July". The exception to this is a long number in a street address, for example, "1853 Glenn Road". The year is also written out in full, for example, "two thousand and one". Half-hours are written as "half after two o'clock" -- never as "two-thirty." Less formal invitations use numerals in the date only, for example, "January 5th 2002". The time is still written out in full.

Q.
What is the proper etiquette about mentioning a parent on the invitation if that parent isn't hosting the wedding?

A.
When one parent is not hosting (which may occur for any number of reasons), it is up to the couple and the host parent to decide if the non-host should be included. Generally, the host alone is mentioned on the invitation, but including both parents' names is perfectly acceptable. The etiquette on this issue is not influenced by the gender of the parent who is not hosting.

Q.
When should I address and send my invitations?

A.
Begin to address your wedding invitations two to three months before the event. Err on the side of three months if you're addressing them yourself and you have a large guest list. At six to eight weeks before the event you can send out the invitations. This will give you plenty of time to receive the responses and make final head counts. Some people you expected to attend will probably decline, and with this lead time you can send out invitations to people you thought you couldn't invite. If you are mailing some invitations overseas, allow ten weeks. Send your wedding announcements out on the day of your wedding or the day after. Use our convenient timeline to find out more about when to accomplish you invitations tasks.

Q.
There are so many rules of etiquette about wording for my invitations. A lot of these rules don't feel comfortable or natural to me. Do I have to follow them all?

A.
That's a very interesting question, and you're right, the etiquette rules can seem overwhelming. Think of these rules more as etiquette guidelines or recommendations. If certain wording doesn't feel natural or appropriate to you, find a way to convey the information in a manner that feels right. Many of the so-called etiquette rules are designed to keep events on schedule and ultimately to make life easier for the couple (the mailing time for invitations, for example). You shouldn't follow guidelines that don't work for you, but by the same token, think twice before you reject all etiquette suggestions. Often they'll help to make the event turn out just right.